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2) R&R. This means different things to different people. It could be a long bath/bed time half hour early/a book instead of TV (or vice versa). For my dad and other people with instincts for self-preservation, it’s going for a long run. For me, it’s spending the day in bed watching Gray’s Anatomy, with a cat curled up next to my feet. No judgements here (except maybe from the cat).

You tell ’em, Bailey!

3) Talk to your friends. Drink/dance with your friends. Watch Twin Peaks/Girls/Game of Thrones marathons with your friends. Sarvat, Tom and Daisy (hereafter STD mwahaha) live with me and so get the brunt of my incessant ‘what if’ scenarios, and I’m lucky because they are going through the same sort of thing. It’s also good to stop talking about it sometimes and, oh I don’t know, maybe go drinking at three in the afternoon (you may have gathered I’m still a student).
4) Get out of the house. Also known as getting out of your head. Go for a walk, work in a cafe for a bit, go buy yourself a book (I give you permission).
5) I struggle with anxiety, and often introducing a bit of humour into the situation helps. This is where Tom, boyfriend and live-in comic relief, comes in. Just after I sent my second round of submissions (full story here), I was stressing out A LOT. I couldn’t sleep, it was all I could think about. I made a table with all the agents I had sent the manuscript to, with columns ready for ‘responses’ and ‘results’. It looked a little like this:
Submissions
Agency / Agent                 Submitted                     Date of response                  Outcome
T saw it and decided that a scary table was the last thing I need to be looking at. So he made some edits, and this is what we ended up with:
Purrrcatory
Gatekeepers                      Soul delivered               Date of destiny                    Poop or not poop?
It’s easy to take yourself too seriously. Don’t.
6) Finally – and this is something I still need to work on – get some perspective. Realise that writing this story is your choice (or maybe it chose you, lottery finger style), and as such you have control over it. What’s more, it’s fun. Not easy, and it’s important to know when to write through the blocks, and when to turn to duvet and drink. But when it’s working, writing feels vital, invigorating and fun. Enjoy your good writing days, because unfortunately/thankfully, the rest is out of your control.

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The anticipation is killing me-ow!

…no, but it is hugely energising. The Agent and her junior agent (Agent A) talk through their thoughts, and suggest edits. I largely agree with their suggestions, and knuckle down to the second draft.
Mistake counter: 5.5
January 2014
Finish the second draft. My novel grows from 56,887 words, to 105,306, and back down to settle at 68,223 during this time. Send to The Agent and Agent A. Receive an email from The Agent to say Agent A is taking over the reins as she is really ‘championing’ my book. Feel even more feelings – someone is ‘championing’ my book!
Mistake counter: 5.5
February
Meet Agent A on Valentines’ Day, wearing red. It doesn’t quite have the desired effect, but I do leave with more edits. At the end of the meeting I woman up and ask if representation is on the cards. She says maybe if the next draft is good enough, and that I am welcome to approach other agents. I get the edits done within two weeks (67,349 words) and send the revised ms to Agent A, and three more agencies, including one with a Big Fish Client.
Mistake counter: 6 (another half point penalty)
March
Big Fish Client agency requests full, then a meeting. Meeting is politely postponed three times. Attend creative writing course weekend retreat. First speaker is an agent from an Established Agency. In the Q&A session, I ask what the protocol should be for applying to other agencies if you are already working with an agent on your ms. He looks shocked. He said if he liked an ms enough to work on it, he thought it was only fair to offer the author some security in the form of representation. Immediately after, I email Agent A and Big Fish Client agency, as well as submitting to six other agents from my Dream Agent list. For the first time in ages, I feel back in control.
Five days later, I have two requests for a full. One is from Hellie Ogden at Janklow and Nesbit.
Mistake counter: 7
April
Hellie reads my manuscript over the weekend and organises a meeting for the following Thursday. I also speak to another agent that week, but as soon as I meet Hellie, I know. We talk about possible edits, her upcoming marathon and my love-of, and allergy-to, cats. She offers me representation. It sinks in very slowly, until:

Me after A LOT of cocktails.

I just about contain the urge to say yes straight away, and take her advice to email everyone else it’s out on submission with, to say I have an offer. (I have an offer!)
I should take a moment to say that this was happening the week between Bologna and London Book Fairs, two of the largest events of the publishing calendar. So it would have been understandable if the agents hadn’t found the time to respond to, let alone read my email. But all but one of them did. And all of them requested fulls. What’s more, all but one of them made me an offer. Including Agent A, who I met again.
I felt completely overwhelmed. I talked to everyone I knew about the decision, and they all said the same. They already knew which agent I should go for: the person I had been gushing about since I met them. It was a real ‘trust your gut’ moment. So, I declined the other offers. Emailing Agent A was surprisingly sad, but I’m learning that it’s a strange quirk of the writing world that although it all feels very personal, it’s mainly business.
Two weeks after our first meeting, I signed with Hellie at Janklow and Nesbit. Here’s the evidence (bin not included):

Strangely like signing marriage papers.

Mistake counter: -3 (surely signing with a Dream Agent is minus at least ten mistake points?)
Now the real work begins. I can’t wait!

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